FANS FLOCK TO FIRST B-SQUAD FLOUNDER

The Internet (tm) tells me it takes four hours and thirty three minutes to travel an alleged 247.67 miles from Cedar Rapids, Iowa to the softball diamonds at Marshall Terrace fields in North Minneapolis.

Which is why it was so damn surprising to see Bill Paarmann standing next to a tree at Marshall Terrace fields last night. He lives in Cedar Rapids, you know. And he works a regular job there. So it didn't make a ton of sense that he would be cracking open a can of delicious Grain Belt Premium beer under the sky blue sky.

Or does it make sense? Bill may have been worried that without an aggressive showing early in the season his standing as the single most rabid fan of our little softball team might be challenged. Indeed, some of his rivals were at the inaugural game of 2004, looking fine and cheering the line. Longtime B-Squad admirers Sheri, Brody and Michelle were joined by a relative newcomer: Mary Margret (not pictured).



Perhaps Bill wasn't angling for "Most Favored Fan" status as much as an opportunity to hang out with the lovely ladies of the B-Squad. Who could blame him? During the game some of the players (well, really Keeks) were so distracted by the cheer squad that play on the field nearly came to a halt.

Or maybe Bill wasn't looking to socialize with the other fans. Perhaps he was compelled to join the growing chorus of encouragement for the valiant Dagomen as they stepped into their first official softball battle of 2004. Maybe Bill sees the struggle on the field as an allegory for good and evil and is moved to participate in order to ensure a safe and just outcome for the future of all humankind.

If that was the case, I'm sure Bill was somewhat dismayed to see the relative positions of good and evil. (For a moment, please imagine that the B-Squad represents Good. I realize this is a debatable point.) Sure, there were some signs that the forces of light were not lost--> Mike Black got the first hit of the year in the second inning and scored on Charles' first RBI just a few batters later. Doug struck one of the bad guys out. The B-Squad held the retail forces of evil to no runs in two innings. Malibar got a hit and attempted to round first...

But let's not kid ourselves that evil was sitting around drinking beer and watching television during the off season. He was munching on performance enhancing drugs and pumping iron. The first (or was it the second?) batter hit a home run. He wasn't the only one, either. The points racked up but good and the six run rule was evoked more than once....Malibar slipped rounding first and drew first blood, as pictured below.



Not all of that had to do with the special softball skills of the dark side. We looked a little...uh...disorganized out there. A towering fly was called by our best fielders who, standing next to each other, missed the ball and then proceeded to kind of hang out and chat. Someone called for the ball and they realized that neither of them had caught it and so they were still responsible for tossing it back "in play." That was a home run.

And then there was the time that Doug started a new inning after carefully checking to make sure that Keith was ready in deep left. He failed to notice Malibar who wasn't even half-way to his position and was subsequently very surprised when the ball was hit over his head. I think that ended up being a home run, too.

So in the end I'm hoping that Paarman's visit was for much less grand reasons. Maybe Bill was thirsty and decided that he would go out for a beer and before he knew it he was in Charles City and then -what the hell- he was almost there. I've done that before. Gone out to the grocery store down the street and ended up getting my tires fixed in Stillwater by a one-eyed man with a limp. How do you think Dave-O ended up with a bag for virtually every possible thing? Easy: he went to Target to by Tube sock and came home with a mesh bag for laundering his unmentionables. These kinds of unexpected things happen all the time.

Tonight things certainly did happen. Softball was played with warm sunny conditions. We had a nice fan section. Some people hit the ball. We scored a few runs, drank a few beers, told a few stories. It was the first game of the season and it felt pretty good, even better since our friend Bill Paarman decided to amble up to the field and say: "Hey guys, I brought beer!"



Bill, ofcourse, can speak for himself, which he does quite well here.


Cape: Somebody hit the snot out of the ball. Somebody made a terrific couple of plays in the outfield. Somebody got the cape. Congratulations, Marty!


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